Though I dearly love my new home and all of my wonderful new found friends here in the Queen City, life has become decidedly more of a struggle. I miss my family everyday (an hour and a half may not seem like much, but it's been very hard being more than twenty-or-so minutes away from my wonderfully supportive mother), starting a new job has absolutely presented challenges and the uncertainty of income that comes with being a server has done a number on my nerves on more than one occasion. Not to mention the anxiety that accompanies being a somewhat socially awkward introvert trying to make new friends in a big city (I know, I know, but Charlotte just feels so darn ginormous to this small town gal!).
Through all of this, and fighting a few spiritual battles in the process, I've been worn down to almost nothing it seems.
As a young girl, like any other blossoming little lady, I struggled intensely with self-worth and image. I never felt as though I was as beautiful or charming as I should be. I was never enough in my own eyes. My heart took a number of beatings through faded friendships and crumbled "relationships." I always dealt with it in my own way - by feeling sorry for myself and shutting myself off. It hasn't been until recently that I realized the purpose and truth of it all: God just wants me to know that He is enough. That He alone can hold me when I feel so broken and so far beyond reach.
His love is ever present, and He will never abandon us, especially when we need Him. Which, lets face it, really is all the time. I wish I had more words to describe the warmth welling up in my heart as I realize this, but I believe God has intended for this post to be short and sweet.
So I leave you with the promise from God to always hold your heart, always love you with the intensity of countless suns, and never leave your side even when you reject Him.
"Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken."
- Dieter F. Uchtdorf
"Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your Presence? If I go up to the Heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, If I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast."
- Psalm 139: 7-10
Rest In His Perfect Love
So much love to you all, and always hold onto hope.
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